A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and colour dress are you looking for?"
The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean?
Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"
"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate.
Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding; he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."
"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk?
"That one was a Labour politician," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
During the days of live sheep exports from Australia a ship laden with sheep sunk. There was one sheep, a shepherd and his dog who were the only survivors and they managed to reach a desert island.
After a month the shepherd started to get amorous towards the sheep but every time he made advances the dog would attack him.
A plane crashed nearby and the sole person left alive was a beautiful woman who the shepherd rescued and looked after.
One day the woman said to him “You rescued me, built me a hut caught fish and feed me is there anything at all I can do for you, anything just ask.” “Yes” he replied. “You couldn’t take this bloody dog for a walk for me please.”
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches. Then, she walked off. Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the bloody height, and she gives us the length!
The lead story on the front page of the March issue Fishing and Outdoors shows how desperate DoC is to carry on their systematic poisoning of NZ’s once great outdoors - which is public property.
It would appear even the NZ police have tainted themselves being coerced by DoC into wrongfully prosecuting Graeme Sturgeon.
DoC's spin machine with the use of taxpayer money, has convinced most of the NZ public as well as visitors to this country into believing the myth of “invasive pests.”
The general public and visitors know nothing of the damage caused by the systematic blanket poisoning with the super toxin 1080 that it is supposedly the saviour of our wildlife. In fact it’s the ruin of our wildlife.
OSPRI, TB Free or Animal Health Board is in cahoots with DOC. It represents a bloated bureaucracy, spinning lies to farmers and public about the mythical Tb story.
TB could be eradicated overnight if proper testing was done.
In anywise NZ has been Tb-free by international standards for a decade. Still OSPRI juggernaut grinds on.
Inflated salaries and bureaucratic empires are at stake. It is no wonder the DoC and its supporters will go to any lengths to protect its destructive ways by straight out lying.
It is a monstrous gravy train built around lies.
However too many of the Hunting and Fishing public are lethargic. They are apathetic, lazy and selfishly not interested. They need to get rid of that.
If more good honest kiwis such as Graeme Sturgeon stood up and were counted, this systematic poisoning of NZ would come to an end. Apathy has to stop and the many more that know and enjoy the outdoors in lots of different ways have to stand up and be counted.
Sales Manager: Graham Carter P: 07 8551833 M: 021 02600437 E:
W: www.fishingoutdoors.org P.O. Box 10580, Te Rapa, Hamilton 3240 Facebook