A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and colour dress are you looking for?"
The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean?
Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"
"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate.
Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding; he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."
"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk?
"That one was a Labour politician," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
During the days of live sheep exports from Australia a ship laden with sheep sunk. There was one sheep, a shepherd and his dog who were the only survivors and they managed to reach a desert island.
After a month the shepherd started to get amorous towards the sheep but every time he made advances the dog would attack him.
A plane crashed nearby and the sole person left alive was a beautiful woman who the shepherd rescued and looked after.
One day the woman said to him “You rescued me, built me a hut caught fish and feed me is there anything at all I can do for you, anything just ask.” “Yes” he replied. “You couldn’t take this bloody dog for a walk for me please.”
Sales Manager: Graham Carter P: 07 8551833 M: 021 02600437 E:
W: www.fishingoutdoors.org P.O. Box 10580, Te Rapa, Hamilton 3240 Facebook