Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?
Where do they go? Wonder no more!!! Significant research by well-known scientists say that it is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: "Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
The New Zealand Tax Office believed a boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his help.
An agent from Wellington was sent to the fishing village of Coromandel to investigate the boat owner. Tax Agent: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them". Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my hired hand. He's been with me for 3 years.
I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, and pays his own room and board.
I buy him a bottle of rum and 3 dozen stubbies every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
Also, he gets to sleep with my wife occasionally". Tax Agent: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration. 'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. ‘Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. ' The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
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